Made a trip to Italy to eat dinner here in September 2021, - Osteria Francescana Modena - Buy Reservations
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🤮 1/5 - Made a trip to Italy to eat dinner here in September 2021,
By 👻 @Phil T., 09/27/2021 3:00 am
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Made a trip to Italy to eat dinner here in September 2021, but the food was obscenely flavorless, absurdly ridiculous, and nearly made me run to the toilet to vomit. The chef needs a heaping barge of help for his "With a Little Help from My Friends" menu. Throughout the dinner, the servers kept referencing people or things (hard to understand them oftentimes) related to each dish, but we had no idea who/what/why they were important. It's like we were supposed to read his diary/books/life story or do research the night before to study for this awful meal.First, the dining facility (because that's exactly what it seemed to be) is cold and sterile, worse than a lawyer office or doctor exam room. Small room with gray walls, spotlights shining directly overhead, no kind of dining atmosphere whatsoever to enjoy the experience. The service was adequate for us, except one of the servers basically told a diner at the next table "too bad, that's Italian food" when she couldn't eat one of the dishes. The amuse bouche with raw shrimp and white fish were decent. Round croissant thingy made with prosciutto fat wasn't any better than a good buttery French croissant. Then came a salad made of thinly sliced lettuce over some cuttlefish with caviar that they recommended to mix up yourself before eating. The whole thing tasted like nothing, and even worse all it did was get stuck between the teeth. Next came ravioli made with mortadella and scallops, which tasted good, but honestly I've had the same exact flavors from a basic shumai at any decent dim sum restaurant. This was followed by a small slice of eggplant which tasted exactly like an eggplant. Sigh....Then came the only dish I truly enjoyed. Egg/Parmesan custard with tongue, morels, peas, zucchini in a mushroom broth. I wished every other dish tasted this rich and wonderful. I would have rather paid $100 for a big bowl of it over ramen or Vietnamese bun noodles and skipped out.Unfortunately dinner took a deep dive after. The next dish was guinea fowl breast and liver; the breast was similar to chicken but much tastier, however the liver was disgusting, something similar to wet chalk or wood filler. Finally came the last savory dish: eel topped with crispy duck skin, on top of cherries and spinach. It sucked so bad, the eel was the size of fingernail, the duck skin was crunchy but pointless, and worst of all was the sour- and tartness of the cherries which overpowered everything.Dessert started with a creme caramel made with foie gras and topped with meringue, which was excellent.Then came the vomit worthy dish that exemplified the whole meal. Upside down cone made from banana, on top of milk cream, warm cheese gelato, guanciale, and caviar hidden inside the cone. We were told to break the cone before eating, which we did and caviar came out of the cone. The overall dish though was a disgusting mix of incoherent ingredients tossed together, which created neither great food nor a pretty looking dish. As I ate it, the grossness of guanciale mixed with milk cream and caviar and banana and cheese reminded me of what it was like to be sick as a kid and vomit, in which everything that comes up tastes like a mix of everything I was just served and expected to eat and enjoy. In fact, the whole meal was just plain boring, sloppy, stupid, and/or random ingredients thrown together and, for the most part, lacked anything worthy of a single Michelin star or renowned reputation. We slogged through the next gross dry rawish pasta stuffed with vanilla/lemon-flavored super sweet potato and comically sprayed with a mist of "coffee perfume" from a plastic spray bottle, followed by average petite fours so we could get the bill and do the walk of shame exit feeling disappointed and ripped off. In summary, Osteria Francescana is nothing at all like what we saw on Netflix or 60 Minutes. Perhaps the restaurant and chef are so famous that things have changed and gotten distracted, or maybe we were supposed to do extensive research and due diligence before entering the door. The tasting menu was in reality a horrible experimental series of grab bag scraps that didn't even look pretty and should have never made it out of the kitchen. Unfortunately we did not opt for the a la carte menu and won't ever return to try it.
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